The thrill & embarrassment of finding an old notebook

Maria Haskins

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I found an old notebook the other day. And when I say old, I really mean it: this is a notebook I used when I was in my teens. I wrote down short poems I had written, and quotes I liked from books and songs and movies. Kind of like a Facebook page or Tumblr blog these days I guess, except all done in pen and pencil and tucked away between the covers.

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Reading my old poetry is 100% cringe-worthy. I can read my old poetry collections without suffering any embarrassment, but the poems in my notebook pre-dates all that and most of it is too precious and… well, I guess “lame is probably the word I’m looking for.

The quotes and short diary-notes I’ve written down in this notebook are more interesting to me now. There’s lots of poetry in there, most of it by Swedish authors, but also lines…

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Secrets

Pajamas & Wine

When I say your name
it falls off my tongue in whispers
like a secret
dripping from my lips

ready for your consumption.

You are a hidden garden
a sanctuary
tucked softly behind these eyes
I show the world

but my heart is heavy with too many secrets.

I want to wrap my mouth
around the sharp corners,
the deep curves,
and feel your name rise up from my throat

as more than an exhale.

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While Watching the Music Video for “Only One” at Midnight, Kanye West Walks Into the Fog Holding His Daughter in His Arms and I Can See the Clouds Outside of My Window Parting Into Two Wings

DRUNK IN A MIDNIGHT CHOIR

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& there, gentle smoke cleaved by a small girl’s face
looking into the eyes of her father as if it is the first time &
the shape of her own eyes are a gift from a buried woman
& I realize this part of the performance is not for us
& maybe all life is the years being plucked from our arms
like rose petals & cast into the fields by some god
until we are nothing but alone & eager for the rain
& the mist that rises from it & carries our voices
to those who have survived the wreckage we left &
Kanye West is alone on the screen now & he is alone
in the rain & he is alone clutching the heavy air like he knows
that there is something living inside of it &
I know what it is to never actually be alone

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While Watching the Music Video for “Only One” at Midnight, Kanye West Walks Into the Fog Holding His Daughter in His Arms and I Can See the Clouds Outside of My Window Parting Into Two Wings

& there, gentle smoke cleaved by a small girl’s face looking into the eyes of her father as if it is the first time & the shape of her own eyes are a gift from a buried woman & I…

Source: While Watching the Music Video for “Only One” at Midnight, Kanye West Walks Into the Fog Holding His Daughter in His Arms and I Can See the Clouds Outside of My Window Parting Into Two Wings

Pokemon No!

Nyet! When your ego is as big as that of Bono, You can’t hide it in a jacket or kimono. Everybody’s hooked on your persona So rebellious, you say: ‘Pokemon no!’.

Source: Pokemon No! in this and similar cases”great knew inventions” they don’t have to be afraid of brain stroke cause it’ll be,is a stroke into hollowness(emptiness),lots of similar examples we witnessed in last and not so last events in Croatia and some other